Events of the past few days....

Besides July 4th. I had a pretty good day at work on July 5th, I brought in some decent payments. I came home and relaxed-which if anyone knows me, it is something that I am not good at doing. My mind is usually racing with things I have to prepare and things that should have been done already. Suffering from chronic procrastination certainly doesn't help. It is something that I am dealing with through therapy. Let's see, I have a year left of school. I will graduate June 2009. I am so super excited that I have got this far with school. Only about four more years to go or so in Grad school and Doctoral studies. Today, I actually cleaned up somewhat after sleeping in. Lack of sleep is really catching up with me, I get most sleep on my days off.

Today was uneventful. I cleaned up, watched a couple movies and got my individual homework completed. Which is completely out of character for me, like I mentioned before, I am a chronic procrastinator and this assignment is not due until Thursday, the 10th. Progress my friends, progress. I never meant to imply perfection. I am definitely a work in progress and I am good with that. Now, I am going to focus on my group assignment due on Thursday which is very eventful, it is a big portion of my grade. So, I am stressed just a tad.

Today really hit me hard, which is expected. But, July 4th would have been my Grandpa Stan's 75th birthday. Of course all the emotions over his traumatic death came out today. I just miss him so much maybe it is because I hadn't been close to him in years. The last time I really talked to him was in 1997 and he died in November of 2007. I guess I am feeling some guilt because of this and the fact that when I was a child, he would tell me that I was his favorite grand kid. Probably not the best thing to say, considering he had seven other grand children. I remember I got him a key chain when I was in the fifth grade that read: "World's Greatest Grandpa" and apparently he still, up until he died kept that on his key ring. The last time I spoke to him was on his birthday in 2007 from what I remember and he told me that he still had my key chain on his key ring and it made me smile.

I know that Grandpa is in Heaven with our loving Heavenly Father and that he is not in anymore pain. That he is with my Grandma, his true love and is happy. But, I have always had a hard time dealing with death. My grandma Shirley, his wife, died in October of 1995, right after my 15th birthday. I remember this so vividly because I spoke to her on my birthday and little did I know that six days later she would pass and I would have to wait until I am in Heaven to see her again. Then, in April of 1997 my childhood friend, Michelle, died in a car accident and she was only 14. This was so hard for me to deal with. I am better with their deaths now, but, having Grandpa's death so fresh in my mind and still processing it, it is painful.

*Note to all, no matter what you are doing, who you are with or how busy you are; tell the people who you love, that you love them, ALWAYS. Because we never know how long our lives are or when Heavenly Father will have us return home.*

To all my readers, I love you all. We all have some special memories we can pick and choose from that are awesome. I hope you know how much you all mean to me.


Michelle